LETTER: Reflecting on choices, faith

The ink in my pen’s heavy. 

You toss, turn, groan and ache while in restoration from the outside world. Your mind channels savage thoughts as if it were static on your television. The unknown is a frightening feeling. 

Unfortunately, housed in C10 jail cell is how I’ve been coping with my rebellious ways and decision-making. The times we think “we got it made” is actually when we are in mortal danger. Oh, how I’ve stumbled on over the bumps of my personal findings. 

I’ve been given a good life. At an early age, though, I lost my mother to cancer. Father has always done honest, reputable work doing God’s work as a carpenter. There was monumental dysfunction. My dad always worked and without Mom and that motherly nourishment, I failed to see the true spectrums of being okay. It’s a sad speculation to see a child be planted with germ of suspicion, abandonment at such an age. 

In here, time lapses. It’s repetitive, dreadful between structure, with very few spurts of inspiration. It’s anguish — pessimistic thoughts of the unknown, awaiting a sentence or verdict. Your senses are heightened, cognitively unsure. Your head’s always on a swivel. You feel everything. 

Love and beauty are more desirable. Family and friends are an importance. Things just seem to grow deeper within me. When your freedom is not, you start to take stock of your healing process. So vivid. 

In the graver hours of this life being incarcerated, perhaps now I am a little child in God’s hands. For that, I shine on in his sanctuary. Even though there’s better things to do with my days — I must stand in correction, face what my choices brought upon me. With Him, it is tolerable — I find peace there. I am a man, and I’ll hold it down because that’s the only way it’s going to go. I came here alone, and I’ll leave alone. 

To shut the world out of sight and mind is a difficult task. Patiently, I stand strong. Only with Him it is possible. I shine on, under these circumstances. 

Don’t forget about me. Until the gavel smashes the table, I’ll live in You, Lord. 

Marcus F. Trevino
351275 C10 

Editor's Note: Mr. Trevino is currently housed at the Grant County Jail and faces trespassing, theft and vehicle theft charges after being arrested in June on those and multiple warrants.