Compassionate planning

MOSES LAKE — The passing of a loved one is never something that people like to think about in their day-to-day lives. Unfortunately, things happen and it’s important to have a plan in place.

Susan Freeman who is the Funeral Director at Pioneer Memorial Services said the most important thing a person can do is be prepared. There are many times when people come in and there is nothing prearranged and the family has no idea what to do for the funeral, said Freeman.

There are many different ways that people can be prepared for the loss of a loved one with one of the most important being an end-of-life policy. These policies help ensure there will be money to pay for the funeral the person who passed would have wanted, she said.

Washington state requires that prepaid funeral expenses are held by a third party. The third parties will ensure that in the event of something going wrong, individuals can get their money back, she said.

“It’s fully transferable so if you find a different funeral home somewhere that will honor your prepaid plan then you’re good to go,” she said.

Finding the right funeral home is also very important when trying to ensure that the process goes smoothly. Funeral homes gather and hold the deceased’s remains as decisions are made in preparation for the funeral itself, she said.

There are also many steps taken by staff at the funeral home in preparing the body for the funeral such as hair, makeup and embalming. Different funeral homes have different methods of preparing those who have passed and knowing this is a consideration that can be often overlooked, she said. Knowing what the late family member or friend would have wanted is important.

“I like everybody to look natural,” she said. “No clown makeup.”

A step that Freeman suggests people take is to talk it out and have a plan before an individual passes. While she knows it’s an uncomfortable conversation to have, it will help everyone out in the long run, she said.

“Nobody really wants to think about losing a family member,” she said. “But just having that discussion helps a lot because a lot of people have no idea what they want. They have no idea what it's gonna cost and so if you have that discussion ahead of time, then the people are making an informed decision and not just an emotional one.”

The financial options that come into play when it comes to burial are something else to be considered as well. For example, if someone wishes to be buried, but doesn’t have a lot of money, they can consider being cremated and buried in an urn for a lot less than in a casket, she said.

The difference between being buried in an urn over a casket is the difference between choosing to spend $3,000 or $10,000. It’s overall going to be a practical matter as people are going to want what they want and will be willing to spend the money for it, she said.

“Money stress is hard on everybody,” Freeman said.

There is another opportunity that isn’t as widely known that Freeman feels is important to inform people about. That is the Designation of Agent for Funeral Arrangement form. This becomes useful as powers of attorney end at death and it helps ensure that a specific individual chosen by the deceased coordinates the funeral planning, she said. It can help mitigate disagreements in what is already a stressful time for family and friends.

This is offered by Freeman as a form that can be filled out at any time as long as there is a witness. The form doesn’t even have to be typed out like the one she has – it just has to have the proper steps taken to ensure its legitimacy, she said.

“It’s very easy to designate an agent for funeral services,” she said. “Easier than the Power of Attorney, but it has to be in writing.”

Being prepared either in life or in death in all of these aspects can overall help the family in more ways than just financially. Having a plan set in place can also help with the grieving process, she said.

“It leaves the family members that are left behind the freedom to actually grieve and not just be all in a panic,” she said.

The grieving process is never easy, but giving family members the opportunity to have some stress taken off of their shoulders during such a hard time will help more than anything, she said.

“It’s really a wonderful gift you can give to have that all taken care of,” she said.

Caleb Perez is a recent graduate of Big Bend Community College and a graduate of Moses Lake High School as well.