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Barnyard brawl

by JOEL MARTIN
Staff Writer | June 14, 2023 1:46 PM

LIND — In the heart of Adams County, wheat is king. And once a year, its knights meet in the Lind Lions Club Arena for a tournament to rival the most enthusiastic joust, armored in blue jeans and ball caps and mounted on steeds familiar to anyone who lives in farm country: combines.

Fifteen of the harvesting machines, sporting names like “Cornfed Cadillac” and “The Extinguisher,” lumbered onto the field at the arena Saturday to duke it out. The event has been a Lind tradition since 1988, and Saturday’s derby brought a crowd of about 4,500 people to a town whose population was 531 at the last census.

“I’ve been at this for a long time,” said Ryan Kulm, of Finley. Kulm’s combine, labeled The Bandit, was painted a foreboding black with a gold bird of prey on the front next to the driver’s seat. “Dad started it and it kind of moved on to my brother and I 15 years ago. We bought this combine over a month ago because the other one got destroyed last year. So we … tore this one down, and last minute, we're literally duct-taping it and putting it together.”

Joe Zuger of Walla Walla was driving in the derby for the first time, he said.

“This combine is kind of a collection of friends that pool their resources together and then kind of let buddies drive in alternating years,” Zuger said. “This year was my year. I've been coming to this thing for almost 20 years and always wanted to do it.”

The action consisted of three 15-minute heats in which four or five combines all tried to disable each other, followed by a consolation round and a final round. In between there were races of a more conventional kind, for pickups and cars.

The Lind Lions Club has a combine of its own which it enters in the final round. The driver of the combine is chosen through a raffle, the winner getting the option of driving the machine or $500 cash. This year’s winner opted for the cash, said Lions Club member Mike Doyle, so the chance to drive was auctioned off. The winning bidder was Paul Christianson, who paid $1,000 for the honor.

“It's a once-a-year get-together for friends and family to hang out, crush combines, barbecue, drink some beer and have some fun,” Kulm said.

Joel Martin can be reached via email at jmartin@columbiabasinherald.com.

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JOEL MARTIN/COLUMBIA BASIN HERALD

From left: Branden Aby sits on his disabled combine Blacked Out and watches as Grady Gfeller of Pullman, driving Last Ditch Effort, and Cody Bennett of LaCrosse, driving Fubär, do battle with Cornfed Cadillac, driven by Jeff Cobb of Ephrata.

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JOEL MARTIN/COLUMBIA BASIN HERALD

Caleb Hannas of Hooper waves in triumph as his combine Orange Crush rolls out of the arena after the first heat. Two other combines weren’t able to leave under their own power.

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JOEL MARTIN/COLUMBIA BASIN HERALD

From left: Dan Sims, Dustin Wilson and Cody Kulm sit on the front of The Bandit and talk with Travis Punchello before the Lind Combine Derby Saturday.

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JOEL MARTIN/COLUMBIA BASIN HERALD

Between combine battles, there were more conventional – but no less impactful – races for pickups, cars and grain trucks.

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JOEL MARTIN/COLUMBIA BASIN HERALD

Destroying a tire proved to be a good strategy for combine drivers battling it out at the Lind Combine Derby Saturday.

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JOEL MARTIN/COLUMBIA BASIN HERALD

Ryan Kulm lifts two of The Bandit’s wheels off the ground as he rams Lock Jaw, driven by Jeff Solbrack.

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JOEL MARTIN/COLUMBIA BASIN HERALD

The spray-painted threat on the back of Jaws, driven by Chris Geier, appears to have been in vain as the combine’s battered remains sit outside the Lind Lions Club Arena.