Saving those who served

EPHRATA — Every 28 seconds or so, a U.S. military veteran attempts to take their own life.

“Suicide is the 12th leading cause of death in the U.S. There were 46,000 deaths by suicide in 2020 and there were 1.15 million attempts,” said Mike Badgley, a suicide prevention peer specialist for the Washington State Department of Military Affairs.

Badgley, himself a Marine Corps combat veteran, said a 2019 survey found that veterans of the U.S. military are at a higher risk for suicide, with veterans accounting for 13.7% of all adult suicides that year.

While research has not found any definitive reason for that incidence of suicide among veterans, Badgley said it is his experience that many veterans feel alone, deal with the pain they believe they cannot share with anyone and yet also feel like they are an undue burden on those around them.

“We are social creatures,” Badgley said. “When we break away, we feel like we’re not contributing anymore. We live and die as a team in combat, and we do it at home too.”

Badgley spoke to a group of veterans, counselors and family members at the American Legion Art Semro Post 28 in Ephrata on Saturday about how to recognize the signs that someone might be contemplating suicide and how best to respond to get someone help.

Badgley outlined a five-step process called LEARN: Look for signs, Empathize and listen, Ask about suicide, Reduce the danger, Next steps. It’s a process anyone can do, but they require paying close attention to how someone is acting, asking some difficult questions and being present with people even when things get difficult.

Often, traumatic events such as a recent loss, a major life change, harassment and bullying, can exacerbate the trauma many service members experience during their military service, and the skills they learn to cope — especially in combat — can work against

Key to making LEARN work, Badgley said, is listening to someone with empathy and without judgment. Because just about every human experience has been felt and lived through by someone else, he noted.

“We’re going to suffer trauma at some point. Depression, anxiety, anger, irritation. People have gone through the same things. No one is ever alone,” he said. “People start believing that lie, and it is a lie.”

Many veterans choose to cope by abusing alcohol and/or drugs or becoming emotionally distant. It’s how Badgley said he coped as a law enforcement officer after his military career.

“I was good at combat. I could turn off my emotions. That does not work in the civilian world,” he said. “I’d almost rather get shot at than deal with my emotions.”

Badgley said it’s not necessary to understand why someone might be feeling the way they feel, only that they do.

“Try to see the world as others see it,” he said.

However, Badgley said the hardest part of LEARN is asking about suicide directly — “Have you thought about suicide?” or “Have you thought about taking your own life?” It’s a hard question, he said, but asking it bluntly does not increase the risk of suicide and will often give someone a chance to talk freely about their feelings.

“Ask directly. Do not be vague. Be willing and able to have a tough, complex discussion,” he said, adding that oftentimes, someone will finally open up. “They will think, I can finally say something. Somebody’s here. Somebody’s listening.”

If someone says “yes” to that question, Badgley said it is important to follow up by asking if they have thought about means, the time and whether or not they have a plan.

“Take a yes seriously. Focus on the person in front of you and the pain they’re going through,” he said. “If they have a plan, don’t leave them alone.”

Badgley said people need to be ready with resources such as the 988 National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, the Veterans Crisis Line at 800-273-8255, the Trevor Project hotline for LGBTQ youth at 866-488-7386 and the Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860. In addition, Renew, Grant County’s mental health care provider, has a 24-hour crisis line at 800-852-2923. They can even make the call for the person they are helping, Badgley added.

Catherine Olson, president of the American Legion’s Department of Washington Auxiliary, a retired nurse military veteran herself, said her home legion hall stages a “Vet to Vet” game day that allows veterans to talk to each other — and sometimes have hard conversations — over board games, cards and a shared meal.

“They come in relaxed,” Olson said. “It works. We’ve gotten a couple into the VA system. It’s not always the best, but at least we get a claim started.”

Badgley said what Olson’s American Legion post is doing demonstrates the power of human connections, which can be tough in large, bureaucratic institutions that need to document everything and frequently still holds asking for help against people.

“We cannot do it online. That’s not a real human connection,” he said. “Connection improves outcomes.”

Charles H. Featherstone can be reached at cfeatherstone@columbiabasinherald.com.

Suicide prevention resources:

The National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline / 988 / 988lifeline.org

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the U.S.

Veterans Crisis Line / 800-273-8255 / 988 and then press 1 / text 838255

Crisis helpline for veterans and current service members — active duty and reserve — and their families.

The Vanir Foundation / 253-720-2365 / vanir-foundation.org

A peer-to-peer counseling organization for veterans and law enforcement professionals that gives a safe, private, and helpful connection to seek and obtain help without judgment, stigma, or professional consequences. The Vanir Foundation will also temporarily hold firearms in order to reduce risk, Badgley said.

The Safer Homes Coalition / 206-543-1016 / saferhomescoalition.org

The Safer Homes Coalition works with people to help reduce access to firearms and medication in order to limit the risk of suicide by those in crisis.

Forefront Suicide Prevention / intheforefront.org

Includes a detailed overview of the LEARN method at intheforefront.org/learn.