Counselor reveals secrets to a successful marriage in new book
Courtesy Photo Glade Daniels-Brown is a marriage counselor in Moses Lake and author of the new book, ‘The 7-8-9 Marriage.’
MOSES LAKE — Over the years, counselor Glade Daniels-Brown said he’s has learned a great deal from his clients.
“I specialize in marital therapy. I’ve worked with thousands of couple who taught me a lot, and I learned from them how to work through marital troubles,” he said.
So Daniels-Brown, who has spent much of his professional career as a licensed mental health counselor, with the help of his adult son Roman, decided to distill much of what his clients have taught him, and helped him figure out, in a book — “The 7-8-9 Marriage,” which outlines seven rules and three tools that “happy couples use to stay consistently close.”
For Daniels-Brown, the secret that he has learned, and that successful couples practice, is focusing on maintaining closeness, rather than resolving issues.
“When I keep a closeness focus, issues dissolve,” Daniels-Brown said.
The title of the book refers to the 0-10 scale Daniels-Brown developed to describe how close a couple believe they are, with 0 being “disconnected” and 10 being “very close.”
“Seven, eight and nine are ideal, with 10 moments,” Daniels-Brown said.
Among the rules Daniels-Brown outlines involve starting a conversation gently, keeping discussions short, and “edit what you say.” And among the tools his gives couples are be specific when requesting information or someone change something, and always clean up your messes.
“To preserve your closeness, be careful with every word you say with your spouse,” he said. “When people use the rules and tools with exactness, I’ve never seen it fail.”
The book is available through Amazon, and will also be featured on Daniels-Brown’s website, the789marriage.com.
Daniels-Brown said he wrote the book because that while couples may grow in different directions, they can still work to remain close — if they choose to work at it.
“Your spouse is the coolest puzzle you’re never going to figure out,” he said.
Charles H. Featherstone can be reached via email at countygvt@columbiabasinherald.com.