Google knew even before it was asked

When an opportunity like this comes along, sometimes it’s just too good to pass up. So let’s have some fun.

Following Tuesday night’s political forum, I left the CB Tech campus with a head swirling of excitement for what lies ahead, uncertainty for what lies ahead and a great story to tell.

The forum began with a two-minute stump speech by each candidate. As I nodded in and out, I caught myself focused on former NFL tight end Clint Didier. The thought of those giant hands catching a touchdown from Joe Thiesman, who took a snap from Jeff Bostic and probably faked a handoff to John Riggins, got me thinking about football. Obviously.

With the amount of talent in the room, and a count of 11 candidates, it was almost too perfect – let’s build a football team. After all, if we could get all 11 behind the same vision for Grant County, we could win Super Bowls.

First, every great team begins with a great offensive line. So let’s start with a solid front five. I’d begin with Jordan Webb at center. He was one of two candidates who went against the grain and refused the assistance of an “electronic voice magnifier” (most call them microphones and use them when available). I need a center with a strong voice who will call my huddle and Webb’s my foundation.

The right side of the line would be anchored by Robert Dove at tackle and Richard Stevens at guard. I need my strong side to work well together and both candidates seem qualified to handle a majority of the workload. On the left side, I’d play James Liebrecht at tackle to protect the quarterback’s blind side. He has electoral experience and a soothing speaking tone and being only candidate to push his answer past the limit, to their point where moderator Bill Ecret cut him off, makes him perfect. He’s reliable and will play tough when needed.

At left guard, Brian McGowen would get the start. He claimed that when he’s elected, he will never allow a phone call to go to voice mail, regardless of the time. Bold. This makes him a perfect left guard.

At tight end, and the obvious choice, Clint Didier. He has two Super Bowl rings and is probably the only candidate who can actually catch a football.

His analogy referencing our national debt, which is in the trillions, and equating it to a billion; in seconds (57 years, his age), minutes (2,000 years, when Jesus roamed the earth) and hours (when dinosaurs existed, roughly 65 million years ago).

I haven’t done the math myself, but his analogy is striking. He had me at hello.

My receiver core would be Nick Wallace at flanker and David Estudillo at split end. Both are equal in talent and have unique skills that would translate to the gridiron. I’ve seen Wallace run and he can move. He’s our deep threat. Estudillo, with his sure and steady hands, would complement our deep game over the middle. He can take a hit and will get right back up into the huddle. The last piece to the Grant County Dream Team is our core three; quarterback and the back field.

Tom Taylor is my general and will run the office from the QB position. His answers were well presented and his military and leadership experience would be a great asset. The only things separating him from Tom Brady are his height, age and four missing Super Bowl rings.

This leaves Matt Manweller and Nathan Pack. I would run a two-back set and split the carries, with a majority going to Manweller. He’s got experience, understands policy and can move quickly on his feet. The compliment of Pack, would keep the defense unsettled. His shiftiness and speed would be tough to bring down. And his quick-witted reaction to use his Smartphone to Google the last question of the night, a somewhat basic financial question, was brilliant.

Great work. You’re on our team.

So here they are, take it or leave it. And actually, you’ll have to take it because a handful of these candidates will win both the primary and general election and will be tasked with leading our county forward.

Ballots are out. Vote by Tuesday, Aug. 2.