Moving forward: from victim to healer

Editor’s note: This column was continued from the June 24 edition of the Columbia Basin Herald.

Previously, I wrote about some of my personal baggage – concerning an event that happened in the distant past. I needed to let it go. So, I chose to finally confront the issue.

Thankfully, I resolved a great deal of that persistent problem. As a result, there is wonderful sense of peace.

After that event in high school, it took about five years for my brain to completely rewire itself. Anger was something I used as a motivation to battle through it; I was determined to work hard in order to move forward with my life, even though I wondered if my brain was permanently damaged. I thought I might never fully recover.

Peace of mind is such a strange sensation. Deeply hidden bitterness has been present with me for years. I believe it was concealed well. No one could tell, save my wife, who witnessed awful mutterings in my sleep.

There is somewhat of a void now. My bitterness and anger have been greatly subdued. (I would say that it is “completely gone,” but that seems too idealistic). The described sense of peace is comforting but oddly enough does not feel like a complete replacement.

I see this as opportunity. What will now be my primary driving force?

I believe my Christian faith is not to be lived out singly for my own benefit. If I were to live life with my sights set on a self-focused, fear-based “heavenly evacuation plan,” then I’ve got it all wrong. In the Old Testament of the Bible, the Ten Commandments are not a particular set list of dos and don’ts for oneself as much as they are urging positive relations with God and neighbor.

In the Gospel of Matthew (25:31-46), Jesus urges his followers to care and to love. Again, everyone’s calling and charge is relational, not selfishly turned inward.

On the cross, Jesus died for us. He understood pain. He was and is the wounded healer.

If you have experienced hurt and pain, may God use them to bring about peace and comfort. With God’s help, may you begin to turn away from being a victim – and toward accepting a holy calling – to be a wounded healer. Reach outside of yourself and make a difference.

Walter is pastor of Immanuel Lutheran Church and has served as parish pastor for more than 25 years.