I'm blaming Papa Joe Wiggs and Ted Nugent

The mission involved hazing pesky elk from certain orchards in an area south of Wenatchee. These critters can cause thousands of dollars worth of damage if not trained to stay away.

One orchardist asked me to follow him to one of his cherry orchards. He pointed out several damaged trees.

“This one has been in the ground for three years and has yet to produce fruit,” He said. “It will need to be removed and another replanted and it will be another three years before it will produce. This is a lot of money down the drain.”

A bull had attacked the tree with its antlers causing the damage.

“Now these trees are a bit different,” the orchardist said with a sweep of his hand, indicating 10 to 20 trees. “Elk, bulls and cows, have eaten the buds off the several of the branches.”

Eating the bud hurts the production of the tree for sure. However, the orchardist went on to explain it is suspected the saliva from the elk have an adverse effect on the tree, specifically the branch. Some orchardists search their trees for elk damage and, when found, snip the branch six-inches below the end of the damage.

Think about this: The animal eats the bud (causing immediate damage), the elk saliva may cause more damage, orchard workers must search each tree for elk damage and, if found, remove more of the branch. All of this elk damage causes labor-intensive work for each orchard and damaged tree. Plus it takes two more years for the damaged branch to again be productive.

I was on a damage control hunt, meaning a damage control tag needed to be purchased. A cow elk was allowed to be taken, if found in the orchards were damaged was occurring.

The weather was a factor in this hunt. While Moses Lake had a skiff of snow and Wenatchee an inch, the area of the hunt was covered with two feet or more of the white stuff. My routine was to pick up either Bill Green or Bill Witt at 6 or 7 a.m., depending upon the road conditions, and head for Wenatchee.

Once in the area, we picked up a landowner who is coordinating the hunt. The routine is to check all of the orchards involved and look for new tracks and/or animals. We encountered falling snow more than once, in addition to the snow on the ground.

The worst weather condition influencing this hunt was fog. Some days we couldn’t see 100 yards, some days the fog moved in and out of the hunt area and on some days the fog would sit just above or just below the hunt area.

But there were days when the air was clear and the visibility was only bound by far-off mountains. The canyons are deep, 1,000 feet or more, which added to the beauty.

We stopped by most of the orchard owners’ houses on the first day of my hunt, to see if they had seen elk and to let them know who was hunting. One was the Papa Joe Wiggs orchard, but he wasn’t home. On the tailgate of his pickup was a faded sticker stating, “Ted Nugent For President.”

The sticker had obviously been on the tailgate for years and was faded to the point of being difficult to read.

We covered all of the orchards where damage had occurred on my next trip to the area. I also had a new and bright Ted Nugent sticker for Papa Joe. Again he wasn’t home.

The Ram was parked and I headed down the short asphalt walkway and then turned right on the cement patio leading to the door. A nearby chair was moved to a spot in front of the door, the new sticker was positioned on the chair and a weight placed on the sticker to hold it in place.

I then turned and headed back toward the Ram, four steps across the cement patio, left turn to the asphalt walkway and…WHAM! My head hit an unseen and unmovable wooden beam.

I didn’t pass out, but stars were visible and my staggering resembled a drunken fool. Good thing I was wearing a hat, as only the first and maybe second layer of skin was removed.

Thank goodness the skin was not split or a trip to the hospital would have been necessary. Yep, I’m blaming Ted Nugent and Papa Joe Wiggs.

No elk were spotted in the area on this two-week hunt. No fresh elk tracks were spotted during the second week, which means the efforts of Fish and Wildlife and damage control hunters were successful.

In fact, the hunt coordinator suggested the final two days of hunting were not necessary. However, those two days needed to be fulfilled, in my mind, so we made the rounds just in case.

The time spent traveling to and from Wenatchee was valued visiting time with friends. A new friendship has developed with the hunt coordinator. Yes, even though the trigger was not pulled and the tag was not notched, this was a most successful hunt.

P.S. Ted, send more stickers. I’m running out and they have become increasingly popular.