Humor lightens the darker side of life

While an apple a day will keep the doctor away, a chuckle a day lightens the load of the burden of life. Humor has been a large part of my life and my writing.

My “Rich and I” Stories are on schedule to be published in book form before Christmas. My stories which begin with “So there I was, minding my own business when…” are being compiled, with the plan of publishing them when enough have been written.

Inspiration for many of my humor stories come from actual happenings in my life or the lives of family and friends. Still other ideas come from the Internet. Once a humor seed is planted, the growth to maturity may take days, weeks or months.

Last week’s humor stories were well received, as mentioned by readers. This has encouraged me to provide more stories or sayings of the lighter side this week. Read on and enjoy.

Saying: The best part of a hunting and fishing outing is the planning, anticipation about going and reminiscing about the experience after returning home.

Note: The excitement or anticipation before the outing reminds me of the thrill of the night before Christmas.

There are other essential parts to a trip to the outdoors, such as the journey to and from the camping, hunting or fishing site. This time spent with family or friends, in the confines of a vehicle, can be special time for sure, as it allows for one, two and sometimes three or more hours of visiting.

These outings create the opportunities for family and friends to create memories which will last a lifetime.

Saying: A wife and a steady job have ruined many a good duck hunter.

Note: Of course, the opposite is also true: A husband and a steady job have ruined many a good duck hunter.

Obviously the ideal saying would be: Proper planning allows a wife and a husband to spend quality time in the duck blind.

Saying: An old tent might not look like much but, as an estate agent might say, it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location.

Note: No matter what type of shelter a person is using, small tent, large tent, travel trailer or motor-home , the fun of being at a campsite, in the Great Outdoors, with family and friends make the experience special. No matter where the campsite is located, it will be exceptional.

Saying: There are only two who should never be questioned: God and the camp cook. Both hold your fate in their hands.

Note: The cleanliness and sanitation practices of the cook of an outfitter should be examined before booking a trip. Of course, the hygiene and sanitation practices of everyone when camping should be explained to all handling food. Then the others should make sure the sanitation rules are followed.

Here are some actual comments left on U.S. Forest Service registration sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips, followed by my notes:

“A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed?”

Note: I’m surprised they didn’t dial 911.

“Escalators would help on steep uphill sections.”

Note: I suppose this person wants an elevator for the downhill trip.

“Trails need to be wider, so people can walk while holding hands.”

Note: Must be the romantic type.

“Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.”

Note: My fingers are itching to write a comment, but, well, this is a clean column and I don’t want to get into trouble.

“The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.”

Note: Annoying noise to some; mountain music to others.

“Need more signs to keep area pristine.”

Note: This person needs to look up the meaning of pristine.

“Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.”

Note: This person needs to read the note about signs above.

“A McDonald’s would be nice at the trail head.”

Note: Where do these people come from?

“Too many rocks in the mountains.”

Note: This is my favorite from this group.

Some practical camping tips

When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

Note: Blowing a few notes as a prospective camper passes your campsite will surely drive home the point.

While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheard of. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

Note: Silly, yes, but the humor is present.

When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.

Note: So true. Have been told someone has designed an item for such a purpose, for law enforcement and others. It is called the Snot Spot and fits over existing gloves. Really. Google it if you don’t believe me.

OK, enough for this week. More later.