My plumbing expertise is tested

This is the second of a two-part series about our first camping trip of the year.

A water valve attached to the toilet of our travel trailer was leaking. Another valve was ordered and arrived in the mail on the second day of our trip. We picked it up after a stop at our house.

Fixing the toilet was my top priority upon returning to the campsite. The directions were followed to the word. The water supply was already turned off because of the emergency installation of a stop valve. The flush pedal had already been pressed to drain the water from the toilet, and the water line to the vacuum breaker was disconnected.

The next step hit me like a brick wall: Press the top and bottom latches of water valve to release, then pull water valve out of housing.

After pressing the latches, the valve would not come out of the housing. And after several minutes of trying, with ample grunts to emphasize the difficulty of the endeavor, a soft voice with an unmistakable cutting edge was heard from the living room.

"Having problems Mr. Plumber?"

"Not at all," I replied truthfully, as there was just one problem. "Just having a little glitch in the installation process. I'll have it fixed within the month, I assure you."

" Month!" Garnet said. And, as if the first time wasn't enough, she said it again, "Month?"

I tried to explain.

"Well it may be sooner, depending upon who stops by the house to help me," I said. "You see..."

"I don't even want to know," she said.

This statement of no confidence hurt deeply.

The trip came to an end. We backed the trailer into place in our backyard, old water valve still in place, new water valve still in the package. Throughout the next few days Garnet continued to make remarks about my bumbling plumbing ability. But I ignored them.

Rosann and Bill Green stopped by a few days later. They are both mechanically inclined.

"Bill, I've got a little plumbing problem in the trailer," I said.

"I knew it," Garnet said. "You were having problems."

"No not problems, just one problem," I countered. "I've followed the instructions, but the water valve won't come out."

"Well, let's have a look," Bill said.

We all walked to the trailer. I handed Bill the new water valve and he looked it over.

"Read the directions," he said.

And I did.

"Sounds straight forward," he said. "Let's see, you have the water turned off, the water supply line is disconnected, so all you need to do is press on the latches and the valve should pull right out."

The valve is located at the back of the flush pedal so it's difficult to see and access with pliers or screwdriver. I showed him how I had the top latch clear, and demonstrated how I was depressing the lower one.

Bill stepped into the bathroom and reached for the valve. I pushed to release the lower latch as Bill pulled. His face was turning red when he stopped.

"Wow, that's in there tight," he said.

We repeated the process with the same results.

"Read the directions," he said.

"OK, you guys remember the definition of insanity?" Rosann said. "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting difference results."

"Hey," I said. "Do you know who made the statement? It was Albert Einstein."

"So?" Garnet asked.

"Well, this great man also said, 'If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber.'"

"So?" Garnet asked again.

"Well, if I had my life to live over again, perhaps I would be a plumber," I said.

At this point, everyone laughed except me.

"A plumber?" Garnet said and followed with the same question, "A plumber? You can't even replace the water valve on an RV toilet."

We looked over the directions again, checked the old water valve once more, made sure everything was disconnected as it should be and tried to pull it out again. First Bill, and then me. The valve remained in place.

"Read the directions again," I said, and everyone groaned and laughed again.

Bill took a long look at the valve, the little bit he could see of it, and thought about the situation for some time. He then used his fingers to feel the entire surface of the valve.

"I think there is a screw back there," he said.

I touched the same area and also felt the head of a screw.

"Any mention of removing screws in the instructions?" I asked.

"No," Garnet and Rosann said in unison.

The screw was removed and the valve pulled out with little effort. The new valve was installed, screw and all with ease. The water line was attached and outside water turned on and the trailer was pressurized.

"No leaks," I said.

"That's a good sign," Bill said.

Next I flushed the toilet. The water flow was tremendous.

"Wow, come see this Garnet," I said.

"I've seen toilets flush before," she said.

"Yeah, but not one I've fixed," I said. "It's flushing better than ever."

"I'll take your word for it, Mr. Flushman," she said.

And thus the saga of the stubborn water valve ended. My plumbing expertise remains at a low level, perhaps nonexistent or imaginary at best. But whenever I get near a pipe wrench, my hand begins to twitch and my heart beats a bit faster.