The Afghanistan War comes knocking on the door

Some of you saw news reports around June 6 of a helicopter shoot-down in Afghanistan. Both crew members were killed, and one was close to my family.

U.S. Army 1st  Lt. Mathew Fazzari, 25, was the best man at my daughter Berney's wedding. He was also Godfather to Berney's first son, Jude, now five.

As you can imagine, there is sadness in our household. I am sad as I write this column. But I must do it for my own good and to honor a young man who went to serve his country knowing he might not come back.

I received the call from Berney's sister Jenny, our family's happy camper. I knew immediately this was not good news. Choking, speaking through tears, she asked if I remembered Mat Fazzari.

Of course I remembered Mat. I met him at the wedding. He was the one with the broad smile. I saw him a few times after that at Berney's in Walla Walla. Pat and I were never so old that he couldn't sit at the same table and visit.

Mat had a brilliant mind. He was a top student at DeSales Catholic High School in Walla Walla. He was a top student and ROTC member at Gonzaga University. He was excited about the life ahead when he got his pilot's wings.

Mat was in Afghanistan less than a month when his life ended. It was the toughest thing to speak to both of my daughters when they called.

Berney and Jenny think of me as a Superman who can fix anything. I had no idea what to say this time. Just about everything sounded stupid coming back at me.

Berney posed the toughest question: “Why do some men go through entire wars and not get hurt and someone like Mat dies almost right away?”

That's like asking why God allows war. He does not. He allows free will. It is we who abuse that privilege. Then we have to call on brave young men and women to fight and die for us.

That takes courage. Most people have some. Men like Mat have it in abundance. He joined the ROTC and the military to defend his country (family and friends) against all enemies, just as his grandfather did in WWII.

Courage runs in the family. Mat's father, a math teacher at DeSales, composed an unbelievable letter to the DeSales Irish family the next day after learning of his son's death. There was no sign of bitterness, only pride in his son. It's the stuff that comes from a strong Christian grounding.

“The extraordinary dignity with which the U.S. Army is handling this is very uplifting,” he wrote. “It makes us very thankful for this great country that Mathew was so proud to serve.

“We are convinced that every person wearing a uniform is a true hero. Some of these young heroes make it home safely, and some pay the ultimate price. To know that Mathew died trying to do good gives much consolation.

“Please keep the rest of our soldiers in your prayers, and please pray a special prayer for Tova, Mickey and Sam (Matt's wife and little children) as they carry their heavy burden. Life is hard, but God is good.”

I didn't know Mat real well, but I know he was my son-in-law Andrew's best friend from the time they were kids. Andrew will overcome the hurt, but he'll never forget.

Neither will I. And if you had seen Mat smile, you wouldn't forget. May Mat rest in peace, and may his sacrifice some day lead to peace.

In an interesting twist to this story, we learned that Bobby Erskine of Yakima, who is buddies with my son Teddy and serves in the U.S. Air Force, is stationed at Dover AFB, where Mat's father and wife went to see Mat return to U.S. soil.

Bobby grew up with Jenny, Berney and Teddy at St. Paul's Cathedral in Yakima. He remains in contact and visits them when he's home.

All of America's fallen heroes return to the U.S. at Dover. One of Bobby's duties is to put together the casket bearers to load fallen heroes onto planes for the trip home to their families for their final reception and burial.

It made me feel a little better to know Bobby was there when Mat came home.