Harmless pranks; a family tradition

This is the first of a three-part series about harmless family pranks.

My family loves a good prank. This has gone on all of my life, and as is my understanding, for generations into the past. These are all harmless and fun practical jokes, with no harm done to anyone. No prank should be performed on anyone who will suffer hurt feelings, but only those who will laugh and enjoy the spirit of the joke.

Short-sheeting a bed

The first example is short-sheeting a bed. This prank was used once on me with the desired results. I was visiting an aunt, uncle and cousin in California, when another friend invited me to a dance. Upon returning home, with everyone else in bed and apparently asleep, I tried to climb into bed, but my legs wouldn't go more than halfway to the bottom.

The entire family wasn't asleep after all, but joined me in the bedroom for a laugh and a visit.

The prank is easily achieved by making a bed in the normal way, but instead of tucking the top sheet in at the foot of the bed, tuck it in at the head of the bed. Next cover the bed with the sheet, but fold it back toward the head at the halfway point.

The bed is then covered with a blanket and should look as normal as a properly-made bed. The edge, where the person gets into bed, could even be turned down a bit, again achieving a normal look.

The person trying to get into bed is met with the impossible task of extending their legs to the bottom on the bed.

Entertaining meals

My late uncle, Delbert Driggs, was a master at having fun during a meal. Whenever I had a chance to have dinner at their house, the time during the serving and eating was full of conversation, with humorous jokes, wisecracks and one-liners.

Needless to say, laughter rocked the house as the meal progressed. Uncle Delbert would wait until the correct moment and say something which would make me laugh out loud. The trouble was, the correct moment was usually when I had just taken a drink of milk or placed other food in my mouth.

My cousins, Janice and Cheryl, refused to sit across from me, because doing so resulted in a drenching of whatever came out of my mouth. Thinking back, I now know why the meat, mash potatoes, gravy and other food, still in serving bowls, was not placed in front of me.

Passing the butter

The simple act of picking up the butter dish and passing it when asked could result in a thumb in the butter. This was a trick practiced by my Dad, Max Clay, and Uncle Delbert.

Let's say Cheryl was seated on my right and asked for the butter to be passed. Uncle Delbert, seated to my left, would pick up the butter dish and seemingly and innocently hand the dish to me. Showing proper manners, I would reach for the dish in order to pass it to Cheryl.

At the last second, as the palm of my hand was under the dish and my thumb aimed at the butter cube, Uncle Delbert would give the dish a fast one-inch thrust, causing my thumb to end up inside the butter. Family seated at the table would roar with laughter, of course.

This trick was also possible in the reverse, having the person passing the butter to become thumb-stuck by the person receiving the butter.

I'm not sure if Cheryl really wanted the butter or if she was part of the setup for the trick. Nor am I sure if she or anyone else, ever ate any of the cube of butter which had my thumb inside. Knowing the thriftiness of the Driggs and Clay families, I'll bet it was used in some shape or fashion.

Of course, this stunt was only effective until the person who ended up with the thumb in the butter caught on to the maneuver. This was mostly one time for most of us, but six months later, it was possible to forget.

Telephone calls

The telephone is a prankster's friend. Once we entered Uncle Vern's hotel room and taped the button of the telephone down. Later in the evening, after he was asleep, we called the room. The group of us assembled outside the door heard him saying, "Hello, hello, hello," again and again, as the phone continued to ring. Another step in this prank is to make a circle of lipstick around the ear piece of the phone, so the person answering ends up with a circle of lipstick on his/her ear.

Cousin Jesse Blair

Uncle Vern and his double cousin, Jesse Blair, have each been on the receiving end and on the prankster end of many a trick or hoax. Vern is in his late 70s and Jesse in her early 80s, so this blow for blow exchange has been going on since the time they were youngsters in Beaver Homes, Oregon.

Just last year, during a family reunion in Moses Lake, Vern, and his wife, Marilyn, were in one room of the motel and Jesse in another. Vern volunteered for the task of driving to Seattle and picking up some more family members. This required him to get up at 2 a.m. for an early start.

Before he left the building, he called Jesse and asked, "Just wanted to see if you were getting a good night's sleep."

Jesse's call for retaliation of equal or greater consequence was sounded to my mother, Enid, and my wife, Garnet, and me. I told her to consider the deed done, but didn't explain my plan.

Vern, Marilyn, Jesse, Mom, Garnet and I had been gathering for supper in Jesse's room when the rest of the family wasn't getting together during the reunion. This particular night, was no different.

For my plan to succeed, entrance into Vern's room was necessary, without him suspecting anything was amiss. I leaned over to Vern during the meal and said, "Would you mind me going to your room to use the restroom?"

"No," he said, handing me the key.

The front desk wasn't going to believe Room 127 needed a wake up call at 3 a.m., unless I was in the room when the arrangements were made.

A couple of days later, Uncle Vern told me the rest of the story. The wake up call was on time. He was up and getting ready for the day, when he glanced at his watch; 3:07 a.m., all this when he was planning on getting up at 6 a.m. Aunt Marilyn was up and getting ready, too, when Vern told her they were up too early.

Uncle Vern said he was about to fall asleep again when it dawned on him Jesse had accomplished her goal. He began to chuckle as the realization became apparent.

Next week: My best prank ever.