Support group for families of stillborns

MOSES LAKE - Eliana Grace Rodriguez was born Jan. 26, 2007 and Kaycen Morrison was born March 27, 2012. Their moms remember those dates; Eliana and Kaycen were born about five months into their mothers' pregnancies and did not survive.

Amy Rodriguez and Jesyka Morrison have set up a new support group to help moms and other family members who must cope with the end of a pregnancy before term, or who lost a child to stillbirth or infant death. The Little Angels Support Group meets at 6 p.m. on the fourth Tuesday of each month at Assured Home Health and Hospice, 1417 South Pioneer Way, Moses Lake. Meetings are in the multipurpose room.

Amy Rodriguez was getting ready for her daughter's arrival, already working on the nursery, already hearing from friends about baby showers; the baby was moving and kicking. But Eliana was born 21 weeks into her mother's pregnancy, while Kaycen was born when his mom was 20 weeks pregnant. Neither baby survived.

There were people who believed, and said, that since the circumstances were different, Kaycen and Eliana were different than if they had been newborns. But their moms, and their families, didn't feel that way.

"Our children were children," Rodriguez said. Eliana's body may have needed more development, but "that spirit is fully formed," Rodriguez said.

Kaycen Morrison was born in Spokane, and the hospital had some resources for his parents, including a group that made clothes for him and a photographer who took pictures. "They made molds of his hands and feet," Jesyka said. A photographer provided pictures for Amy Rodriguez and her husband.

But once she got home, "there was nothing there for me," Amy said. "No one here to help me deal with the struggles that I was facing."

The crib was already set up in the Rodriguez home, and Amy said she couldn't look at it, but couldn't take it down either.

But aside from her husband, she felt like there was no one she could talk to, she said.

Jesyka Morrison's body went through all the physiological changes she experienced with the birth of her daughter and son.

"I just don't have a baby now," she said. Jesyka said her husband Brad was very supportive, but there didn't seem to be a lot of people out there in her situation. There were support groups in Spokane but that was too far to drive for a meeting, she said.

The two women met through a mutual friend, Jody O'Shea. It was good to find support, Rodriguez said. "We had things in common that we could talk about."

As they began to talk about what had happened, they discovered many other women coping with the same pain. "Tons - you cannot believe," Amy said.

During a conversation at work she asked if others in the room had similar experiences. "Three women stepped up in a room of eight," she said. Jesyka's mother-in-law was talking to the teller at the bank and discovered the woman had suffered a miscarriage 30 years earlier.

The two women started thinking that a support group could help a lot of women and their families. Rodriguez said she believes Eliana and Kaycen left something behind in the form of a group for other families. "It's their group and we're just being there," she said.

Morrison said she wants the people who participate "to have their feelings validated," and "give them permission to grieve." They have started a Facebook page and are encouraging families to post pictures. Both women said they want to be available between the monthly meetings; Rodriguez can be reached at 509-855-2989 and Morrison at 509-750-5941.