Moses Lake resident fights for equality, peace

MOSES LAKE - Moses Lake resident Suzi Fode holds many

titles.

Some titles include fighter, mother, wife, friend and teacher.

As director of New Hope Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault

Services, Fode believes it is her duty to be available to her staff

and victims of abuse.

MOSES LAKE - Moses Lake resident Suzi Fode holds many titles.

Some titles include fighter, mother, wife, friend and teacher. As director of New Hope Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services, Fode believes it is her duty to be available to her staff and victims of abuse.

"I was drawn to the position four years ago because I thought it would be a great chance to lead others in something I believe in," Fode said. "Our agency stands against domestic and sexual violence; we believe it is everyone's right to feel safe."

Fode supervises a team of nine legal and community advocates responsible for assisting people needing protection. The advocates have many tasks, which include speaking for a victim in court, finding a safe places for victims to go, helping victims fill out protection orders, running support groups and raising awareness through education.

"New Hope is a place for people in danger because of their relationships," Fode said. "Our advocates are amazing people and are jacks of all trades."

New Hope has advocates available to help others at all hours of the day, five days a week. Fode makes herself available to employees at all times in case they need advice or help handling a situation.

"Suzi is very caring and is a great leader," said Ellen Hunt, legal and community advocate. "She's knowledgeable and passionate about her job, which makes it easier on us advocates. She takes the time to know us well and is always there for us whenever we need to debrief."

Fode holds many events year-round to raise awareness of domestic violence and sexual assault. The main events are Take Back the Night in October and a march against sexual assault in April.

"We do everything we can to get our name out there so people know what we provide and how we can help," Fode said. "We give presentations all over the area, whenever we are requested. We've gone to churches, community groups and schools."

Fode believes the only way to prevent domestic violence and sexual assault is education.

"I think it is so important to teach our kids about these subjects at a young age," she said. "Other prevention tactics are to teach kids to not bully and to boost their self esteems."

Fode believes the only way to end violence of any kind, is to talk about it.

"Domestic violence used to be such a dark subject, but I think over the past 10 years it's become more public," she said. "Right now sexual assault is dark and hard for people to talk about. It's uncomfortable for most people. It's safe to say almost everyone believes rape is wrong, but few are willing to stand up and talk about it."

Fode said there are signs of sexual abuse in relationships bystanders can spot if they are willing to notice and to interfere.

"There are social situations where sexual assault is in front of people and they just walk on by," Fode said. "For example, you are at a party and you see a situation that could lead to forced sex. Maybe a woman is intoxicated and a sober male seems to be taking advantage of her. Would you step up and go over to help the woman?"

Fode tries to get her clients to open up through support groups. New Hope offers a male and a female support group.

"It's important to realize men can be victims of violence also," Fode said. "We developed two separate groups because we found men and women need something different. Women want to talk and cry and lean on each other during their support group, while men want to problem solve."

New Hope clients are typically people being abused by their intimate partner with no place to turn.

"They come to us very scared, with limited or no resources and face extreme economic barriers," Fode said. "They are usually fleeing from their partner who is the breadwinner and they need financial and emotional support."

New Hope employees can never predict the people they will need to serve. Some clients are children, Spanish-speakers and they've even had opposing domestic parties come in to report on each other.

"When this happens we really investigate and get to the bottom of the situation," Fode said. "Sometimes the victim is so tired of being abused, they fight back and their abuser tries to take advantage of them."

People walk into the facility for help and others call in. Every client is listened to and given appropriate guidance, Fode explained.

"The best part of my job is that I feel I am empowering people and seeing justice occur," Fode said. "The most challenging part of my job is when justice doesn't happen for one reason or another, such as a protection order being rejected."

As a mother of two, it is difficult for Fode when an abused child comes in for help.

"The saddest part is when kids come in that have been abused, sexually assaulted or were witnesses to an abuse," she said. "I try to put up barriers, but do I go home with that child's face in my head? You bet. Do I kiss and hug my children a little tighter that night? Absolutely."

Fode and New Hope advocates work on putting up healthy boundaries between work and personal life. They talk about experiences together and practice different exercises to erase hard situations experienced during the day.

"Everyone has a different exercise they do that works for them," Fode said. "Mine is that I open the windows in my car as I drive home and imagine all the ugly stuff floating out."

Seeing victims receive the help they need keeps Fode coming back to work every day.

"Seeing people receive justice is the greatest reward," she said. "Sometimes our clients fade off into the sunset and we hope they go off to a successful and safe life. Other times, we have people contact us and tell us how they are doing."

Last year, New Hope served 607 domestic violence victims and 155 sexual assault victims. There are some clients coming back to the facility for help again and again, Fode said.

"We never judge anyone that comes through the door," Fode said. "The repeat clients get a fresh slate every time they come in. We may point out a pattern we see to their behavior, but ultimately we are there to help them get safe."

Fode credits her parents and the community she grew up in for making her strong. She was born and raised in Lind, a small town of only 500 people during her childhood.

"I lived on a farm so my family and I were really isolated," she said. "I loved it. The best thing about my childhood was that there were no female or male boundaries in my town." Fode rode a tractor and helped take care of the family's wheat fields.

"My childhood made me feel like I could do anything," she said.

Fode met her husband, Bill, in kindergarten. The two became friends and started dating her senior year of high school.

The two married in 1985 and went to receive their higher education at Eastern Washington University. Fode received a teaching degree and taught fourth grade in Cheney for a year.

"I'd always wanted to be a teacher," she said. "I loved watching the kids grow and learn."

Fode moved to Moses Lake in 1987 when Bill received a job at Grant County Mental Healthcare. Fode worked for 16 years at a adult disabilities program in Grant County.

Fode was in charge of overseeing patients as they came in and other managerial duties. At the time, the patients lived in the facility full-time.

"Working there confirmed my view on human rights," Fode said. "I believe that no one is disabled. I never see people's disabilities, I see their talents and abilities."

Fode said this job gave her the experience of fighting for peoples' rights.

"Sometimes I had to help the clients fight for their rights," she said. "An example is when I took a client in for surgery and the hospital staff didn't think the person was capable of signing their own form agreeing to the surgery. I told staff this person knew exactly what they were doing."

The program progressed when all clients no longer needed assistance and Fode applied to become director at New Hope.

"I felt like this was a good fit and was ready to take on the challenge," Fode said.

Fode's future goals entail spreading the word about New Hope to more people and creating more programs.

"I always wanted to be a teacher and I still am one," Fode said. "There is never a day that goes by where I am not learning or teaching and I think this is true for everyone."

Fode has one message for domestic violence and sexual assault victims.

"Call us," she said. "I know it can be hard when your partner is monitoring and controlling you, but find a way. Make a doctor appointment, go to church and tell people during those appointments that you need help."