Did I just really ask that? Reporter asks a question

There are some professions where you can separate work and personal life easily.

There are other professions where the separation between work and personal life is a bit more gray.

Being a reporter is the latter.

Every day, I have the professional license to be curious. I get to talk to people and have access to information otherwise inaccessible to me.

I talk to many people from all walks of life on a daily basis.

Knowing their names, what they do and what questions I need to ask them requires a lot of multi-tasking.

Sometimes the amount of information I have to keep track of is a bit overwhelming.

But funny enough, it’s when I’m not at work that I find the interpersonal interaction between people much harder than when I am at work.

At work, as a reporter, I have an objective. Namely, figure out the who, what, when, where, why and how of a story.

But when I’m hanging out with my friends, I have to talk and listen, for the sake of talking and listening. This is difficult for me. But then again, not everyone wants to debate everything down to the last punctuation.

As a reporter, I am trained to think and analyze in a certain way and a certain pace.

I forget not everyone operates by the same guidelines.

Knowing what to ask, what to say and when to listen is a skill set that continually surprises me with each person I meet. Because everyone is different.

I went on a double-date with my boyfriend and a couple from his work recently.

We went to a really nice bar in Seattle and exchanged some polite table talk.

“How was work?”

“What do you do for a living?”

“Where do you live and do you like where you live?”

Pretty safe topics even to the most sensitive of feelings.

The girlfriend mentioned she was from New York and moving back in two weeks.

The boyfriend didn’t elaborate and that should have been a hint.

But then, my reporter side came out.

“So, if you move to New York, what is going to happen between you two?”

“Well, I am definitely going to stay in Seattle because I still work,” said the boyfriend.

The answer really threw my “When are you getting married and having children?” question right out the window.

The awkwardness that ensued was beyond embarrassing.

Her lack of elaboration and his definite tone made me think that it was subject neither had discussed yet.

Something told me I had inadvertently and very blatantly initiated a conversation that neither had fully figured out.

I am sure they had a nice conversation after the double date.

The faux pas has been thumping loudly on my consciousness ever since.

But I’m one of those people that always tries to learn from my false steps.

What I learned was that when I hang out with people when I’m not working, I should try harder to take hints. Ignore less and be mindful that not everyone wants to distill the essence of conversation down to “Who did what to whom”?

I’m still actively working on my people-reporter skills. Even when I’m off the clock. Growing pains are awkward; here’s hoping I outgrow them sooner than later.

Amy Phan is the Columbia Basin Herald city reporter. She is also slowly expanding her world to see more of the rural side of our state and all of the great things we have to offer.