Facebook is a place for questioning relationships

It’s been about four months since my friend deleted his Facebook account.

He was going through a break-up at the time and didn’t want his friends from around the country to ask him questions about why his status changed from “in a relationship” to “single.”

He said he decided to completely delete the account after changing his status.

“After about 45 minutes, I had 14 messages from people asking what had happened,” he said.

I asked him if he liked not having a Facebook account.

He said it was great; he likes having relationships in real life.

“(Facebook) has become such a replacement for the interpersonal real relationships,” he said.

He told me a story of one of his friends wanting to invite him out for dinner but deciding not to because he couldn’t be “invited on Facebook.”

He asked his friend why he didn’t just call him.

It’s easier to invite everyone at once on Facebook, replied his friend.

The story got me thinking about other ways my friends have trimmed down on their Facebook appetite.

I have another friend who goes through yearly “Facebook friend purges.”

Each year, she sends a message to everyone along the lines of “If I haven’t heard from you in a year, we have to re-evaluate our friendship. And, in the meanwhile, I am deleting you.”

I think it’s a healthy way of dealing with people you accidentally add because you think you felt connected with them at some point in time.

But like real life, Facebook friend relationships can dissolve.

And then, I have another friend who displays Facebook elitism.

Instead of adding anyone interested in being her friend, she is incredibly selective.

She has about 45 Facebook friends.

If you use Facebook, I think we can agree that it is quite a challenge to keep your friends at such a low count.

Maybe it’s time I look at my Facebook habit.

When I do have time to leisurely Web surf, Facebook becomes a fun way to get distracted, keep in touch with my out-of-state friends and keep up with conversation.

I get to share a favorite song, video or story with my friends.

Or how I am feeling.

But admittedly, there are people on my friend list whom I haven’t spoken to in years. Come to think of it, we never did have much in common. Other than maybe we went to the same school together.

I still have a few friends “queued” on my list to be added. They’ve been on my queue list for a few months.

A bit melodramatic, but, in the words of The Clash, “This indecision’s bugging me.”

But I’m at an impasse.

I feel bad.

Rejection sucks. Period. And I can’t help but feel like I’m rejecting someone a bit when I de-friend them.

But I know I don’t want to add them; I can’t get rid of the ones that I don’t really enjoy being friends with.

Anyway, I’ll get to the whole Facebook matter soon enough; after I finish priority number 2,345.

Amy Phan is the city reporter for the Columbia Basin Herald. Her coworkers are glad they aren’t forced to “Facebook” her to talk.