Daily rituals lead to movie critiques

I really enjoy rituals. Not in an “I’ve got to make sure I check the lock on the door five times before I go to bed” kind of way (I only check it twice) but more in an “I like to go to the restaurant before I see a movie or a play” kind of way. I like opening my presents on Christmas Day. I like having turkey on Thanksgiving. I like staying up the entire night before I fly anywhere.

I’m not really sure why I’m like that. I didn’t have a traumatic childhood. I’m not compensating for some sort of chaos in my life. But, nonetheless, I tend to stick to stuff I know and I feel comfortable with.

Especially when it comes to movies.

Now, I’m not one of those people who will only watch action movies or dramas or comedies, but I am one of those people who decides whether I’d like a movie based off a 60-second trailer and the box’s cover.

This doesn’t always work out well. For instance, “Pursuit of Happyness” looked like a great movie. I mean, how could you not like a movie where a guy is struggling to succeed while being homeless and having to take care of his son? It sounded like a great story. (Yes, I’m a sap. No, I’m not too proud to admit it.)

Yeah. It wasn’t nearly as good as I wanted it to be. In fact, it was relatively bad. I didn’t even cry. I didn’t even get teary-eyed. I could go into an entire rant about how the plot failed to live up to my “choking back sobs” expectations, but I’ll leave it there.

Because I wanted to talk about horror movies.

I don’t usually watch horror movies. Part of it has to do with horror movie covers. Here’s the formula: Take one somewhat creepy figure, but not so creepy some retail stores refuse to carry it. Set it on a black or, if you’re feeling dangerous, gray background. Add movie title. Done.

Really? I understand the whole idea of making a movie seem to fit into a style, so the fans don’t scream, but for once I want to see a horror movie with a pink background and people at, say, a picnic. Except they’re zombies or vampires or something.

I really try not to be a movie snob, but doesn’t it ruin the movie to have the main villain posted on the front cover?

Anyway, I’m rambling again. So the other part of the problem is I have a problem with blood.

Cameron Probert is the Columbia Basin Herald county reporter.