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Talking to your parents about getting older

| April 29, 2010 2:00 PM

As the Baby Boomer generation gets older, many children are faced with talking to their parents about aging. Never an easy conversation, there are ways to make this process less painful and uncomfortable for everyone involved.

The most important thing to remember is to speak to your parents with the level of respect and understanding they deserve. Below are some helpful suggestions for addressing pertinent health and safety concerns with your aging parents in a way that preserves their dignity and their trust in your relationship with them.

Ask about their health: It is important to know where your parents' overall health stands, both from a precautionary and a safety standpoint. Make sure to ask questions about which type of doctors they visit and what medications they're currently taking. If you feel it could be helpful, offer suggestions backed by concrete information. For example, if you've noticed your parent has become hard of hearing, provide them with specific information about hearing aids and offer to accompany them to have their hearing evaluated by a local professional. You can schedule a free hearing test at Miracle-Ear hearing centers nationwide. Though they may be resistant at first, the more convincing data and facts you have to present, the easier it will be to convince your parents to address a pressing health issue. Your research will put them at ease and reassure them that their health is your primary concern.

Talk about their long-term care: Do your parents have a living will? Do you know their opinions regarding long-term care or nursing homes? What are their views concerning life-support and burial options? While these issues are not easy to talk about, it is important to know where your loved ones stand. Most likely, one or both of your parents feel very strongly about some of these tough subjects.

It is crucial that you discuss these matters with them while they are able to in order to avoid complex legal and ethical issues later on. When you know their wishes ahead of time, you and your parents can come up with a plan that best meets their needs and clearly outlines your responsibilities and expectations concerning their care.

Discuss financial issues: As your parents age, make an effort to learn more about their financial information in order to plan for both their future and yours. Long-term care can be expensive, as can medications, so ask you parents now about what insurance policies they hold and if they've saved for these expenses. Depending on what their financial situation is, it may be necessary to come up with a plan to help them cover these costs. The USA.gov website offers information and resources for seniors, which you can use in your discussion.

It may also be prudent to discuss after-death financial details, such as how you will pay for a funeral and whether or not your parents have a will. If they don't, encourage them to make one while they're healthy in order to ensure their money is allotted how they see fit in the event of death. Most people find such topics hard to broach, but doing so now can save you and your family a lot of trouble and confusion in the long run.

It's never easy to acknowledge that your parents are getting older, and in turn, frailer and more dependent on you and the rest of your family. That's why it is critically important to discuss these issues with them sooner rather than later, to avoid having to make blind decisions and guesses if they become incapable of caring for themselves. A few minutes of conversation can save everyone involved a lifetime of guilt and uncertainty, so be sure and take the time now to learn what your parents want.

Courtesy of ARAcontent