Tales of Homer: Dog school is a must

I learned that Homer is a “backer” and that I am not the best dog owner.

Wednesday marked the first day of dog obedience school for me and my hound dog.

Before even getting my big smelly Homer into my tiny clown-sized car, I thought to myself about how this school was not going to work for him. I felt like Homer was just obnoxious, similar to Pee-wee Herman or Steve Urkel. He’s in your face, loud, rude and knocks stuff over. Plus he eats garbage and licks my dinner plate.

Gross.

Before entering the building for class, Homer wanted no part of it.

He retreated back toward my car as soon as he heard his fellow classmates barking. I had to pick him up and carry him down some stairs. This was no easy task. He farts when he’s nervous and sheds too much. Thus, I became smelly and hairy.

As I am listening to the obedience teacher, I’m getting nervous. I wondered if Homer would be the only dog who would learn nothing that day. I thought I would disprove their guarantee of providing a reformed dog.

I was wrong.

For the most part, Homer did everything I asked until he was supposed to sit. That’s when I learned he was a “backer.”

Being a backer means, instead of sitting when he is told, he backs up into a wall to avoid sitting. That’s when I learned a trick. There is a little nerve on his hind quarters you can put pressure on forcing him to sit. As soon as pressure was applied, he sat. Glorious!

As Homer learned to walk to the left of me, sit and stay, I was starting to realize Homer was smarter than I thought and that I could use a dance lesson.

The teacher asked all the dog owners to walk forward and pivot the opposite direction. The lesson was to keep the dog behind you or at your side the whole time. I was not successful at this. As Homer tried to walk around me like he was supposed to, I failed to pivot correctly nearly clunking into fellow classmates. I need a dance lesson.

After class, when I took Homer home, the amazement continued.

While I am standing in the kitchen preparing some food, Homer isn’t feverishly licking at my plate like usual. He was in another room where I told him to stay. He listened! Then I told him to sit and he did. For most people, these small things might not mean much, but for a dog with his history, it makes me so proud of him.

I picked Homer up from the Ephrata Police Department about two years ago. I chose him because he made me so sad. He was starved and beaten by his first owner. Originally, I just wanted to fatten him up and give him to someone else, who could use another dog. I wasn’t really interested in keeping him at first, especially considering I felt like he thought of me as a rack of lamb he could sink his teeth into. He seemed to have an anger management problem. But eventually that slowly subsided and he was just annoying and disobedient.

Now with his obedience class, I think Homer will be a completely reformed dog and I really look forward to going to class with him this week.

Candice Boutilier is the assistant editor of the Columbia Basin Herald. With Homer learning so much, her coworkers wonder if they can teach Candice how to pivot correctly.