Father and son talk about their meth addiction

MOSES LAKE — It’s been more than a year since Irvin and Justin Olson with the Life After Meth Project met with the Columbia Basin Herald to talk about their addictions and their triumphs.

When Irvin first met with the newspaper, he was only eight months sober.

This time, he walked into the meeting room smiling and looked healthier. As time progresses he is proving there is life after meth.

He is now about 18 months sober.

He previously shared plans about wanting to raise money to create a recreation camp in Concrete, Wash., to employ former meth addicts. The idea was to create an atmosphere where former users would find support and resist the temptation to use. Since then, the plan has not come to fruition due to a lack of funding so he decided to stay in Moses Lake and offer help to local people.

“The community here is so open,” Irvin said. “You can say anything and nobody looks down on you. They always are encouraging you.”

He offers a voice of support and an ear to those affected by a meth addict or by the drug itself.

Irvin battled his meth addiction for 15 years before deciding he was ready to change his life.

When Irvin began using, his son Justin was a young boy.

“I don’t know how many years he went through my meth addiction,” Irvin said. “He couldn’t tell dad to stop. I know I physically abused him a few times.”

Irvin said he wonders if his meth use led to Justin’s meth use. Justin said it didn’t.

“Parents that do drugs, man, their kids will too,” Irvin said. “If you do it, it’s going to affect your kid. I’m just glad he’s here. I’m pretty fortunate I have a pretty good relationship with my son.”

Justin has an old battle to fight.

“I’m a parent with a son that’s having a hard time,” Irvin said. “It’s really hard.”

Justin was nearing his one year anniversary of being sober from meth when he relapsed.

Despite his recent relapse he still came to the Columbia Basin Herald only a few weeks sober to share his failure but also to share his triumph that he was starting over again to let others know, sometimes people fail, but they have to try again to kick their habit.

“I have a big ladder to climb,” Justin said. “Every time I get three-fourths of the way up, my own mistakes slap me in the face. I have what they call a self-destructive behavior.”

He found more strength to remain sober when he learned he could have a son. Justin was in the process of trying to find out if he is the father of a boy.

“I’m doing it for what could be my son,” he said of his sobriety. “If anything, it makes me want to struggle through the day just to make it.”

Irvin said he finds strength to remain sober because of the years of pain he caused to those he loves and because he wants to help others.

“All my sadness relates back to my 15 years of meth,” he said. “It’s taken a long time to get people to look at me as someone who is sober now.”

During his meth addiction, he spent time in and out of jail, lost good jobs and destroyed relationships. He said he blamed others for his addiction and found himself constantly angry or incredibly sad all the time.

“I don’t want to forget where I came from,” Irvin said. “I am not ashamed of being an ex-meth addict.”

He’s proud of how long he’s been sober and he’s proud of the more than 11 months his son was sober.

“I’m not giving up,” Irvin said about his son.

The father and son talked about the difficulties of remaining sober, what can make someone relapse and offered information about what an addict can do to begin recovery.

Irvin said addicts must distance themselves from people who use drugs. This includes any friends of family who use.

“If you don’t do that, you’re going to fail,” he said.

People will relapse, it’s part of recovery, Irvin added.

“You need to pick yourself up and move on,” he said.

Friends and families of someone who have an addiction need to try not to enable an addict’s behavior, he said. Without knowing it, someone could be helping an addict remain addicted.

He said it’s hard for a parent not to enable a child because they always want to make sure they are fed, clothed and have somewhere to sleep.

If someone is involved with a meth addict, who has an anger problem or are physically abusive, Irvin said to leave that person because the abuse won’t stop as long as the person is actively using meth.

“You can’t be abused. Period,” he said. “You can’t tolerate that.”

“Being a meth addict, anger is not very healthy and it’s not very safe,” Justin said.

He said he’s found it important to his sobriety to surround himself with people who do not use drugs.

“No matter what people think, there is somebody out there who will never give up on you as long as you are trying to better yourself,” Justin said.

Irvin agreed.

“You can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves,” he said. “But don’t ever give up.”

Many times certain locations a recovering addict used to stay or visit can trigger relapse, Irvin said. It’s important for someone in recovery to relocate to somewhere safe.

He relocated to Moses Lake from Benton County.

“I know that’s helped,” Irvin said. “I know it has.”

He said it’s also important for an addict to attend sobriety meetings and a rehabilitation center.

“Most people go to treatment four or five times before they are truly clean,” he said. “Never give up hope. I can’t say that enough.”

When an addict does relapse, it’s important for them to evaluate how and why they relapsed and to tell someone they trust, Irvin said.

“You can’t beat yourself up over it,” Justin said. “I get so disappointed in myself.”

Irvin said if an addict beats themselves up over relapsing, it is harder to recover.

Justin said it’s important for him to focus on the positive parts of life.

“I’ve got to expect the best and hope the worst never happens,” he said. “Steps are shorter this time than last time.”

Irvin also offers encouragement through a shirt. The shirts are $15 but if someone can’t afford one, they can donate one. The shirts declare what county the recovering meth addict is living in and indicates that they are working toward their sobriety.

Once they are sober for six months, they can obtain a patch that reads, “Quitters Club,” and once they’ve been sober for one year, they can get a patch indicating they are a sober “Supporter” for other people working toward recovery. He said the shirt is also a repellent to other meth users and dealers.

Irvin said people should be proud to wear the shirts and find encouragement to remain sober.

For more information about the Life After Meth Project, to talk about issues related to meth or to seek help for recovery, people can contact Irvin at 509-539-8236.

He said he can be reached at any time.

“I don’t have any time off from this,” he said. “I’m always happy to talk to people. People who are really ready. There are places for them to go and they need to use it.”