Mom, thanks for raising me to be a nerd

Mother’s Day is approaching.

I realize I am a couple weeks early with this topic but an early reminder works well for some people. Plus, if I forget to tell my mom “happy Mother’s May,” I can just send her this column. Right?

Be sure to wish your mothers, “happy Mother’s Day” on May 10.

I was born on Mother’s Day. I think. At least that’s what I was told. This led me to believe I had two birthdays when I was little.

It must be a heck of a feeling … giving birth. I hear scary music when I hear those two words.

After all, as my mother would say, it’s our fault they gained weight and had to endure 25 hours of painful labor. This statement alone has proved to be a powerful one for me. It was square in my mind by about age 8 that I would never have kids because that sounds too painful plus I don’t want to buy new clothes.

So thanks for pushing me out of your body mom, I bet that hurt. I can’t imagine that. It makes me cringe and feel like a huge wimp that I am not capable of what millions of women have done before me.

My mom stayed at home for a chunk of my life to raise me and my brother. She really wanted to work and when I was about 16 years old, she went back to work. I am grateful my mom stayed at home because it prevented me from doing a lot of things, I wanted to do, that were all very bad news. In fact, my parents made me think they had 24-hour surveillance on me, so I was actually a very good kid because I thought I had no choice.

Because I thought I was under constant supervision, I never did anything bad when I skipped school. My mom even let me forge her name on my excuse notes. That was awesome, but I was probably studying, sleeping, working, doing homework or applying for college.

My parents kind of made me and my brother into nerds. We had no other choice, it was destined. We, or at least me, thought mom and dad were constantly watching everything. I remember going to birthday parties and looking over my shoulder or off in the distance because I thought I would spot a parent.

Thanks for making me a paranoid nerd.

Happy Mother’s Day Leota Boutilier!

Candice Boutilier is the Columbia Basin Herald assitant editor. She continues to entertain coworkers with the tales of her upbringing. Her parents are great and did a good job.