Weaver has fun with time delays

One of the fun parts of writing this column is the act of wrestling with timeliness.

For the most part, we try to keep the shenanigans and goings-on to such a point where it doesn't need to be particularly timely.

For example, "Man, I love Christmas. I was particularly excited to receive this year a CD compilation of James Bond movie theme songs, including the exciting new song from 'Casino Royale'" must become, "During one of my most memorable holidays, I received a CD compilation of James Bond theme songs, including that classic hit from 'Casino Royale.' And boy, wasn't 'Quantum of Solace' exciting and original when it came out Nov. 7, 2008?"

All right, so I exaggerate, but only slightly.

It does tend to limit the subject matter slightly, too, although I still pride myself on how quickly we responded to the news of Jessica Alba's reunion with (sob!) her fianc/ and the father (sob!) of her as yet-unborn child, who could possibly be graduating from high school as you read this.

This is why you don't see things about the latest entertainment or political news in this space, because odds are good an immediate, sure-fire and absolutely ground-breaking opinion on such matters will have been high-jacked by the time said opinion reaches print by everyone and their younger sister.

That, and nobody cares about the latest news as it pertains to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

Humph.

Readers would react to such stellar wit by turning to their neighbors and saying, "Why is he still harping on that? Hasn't it already been dragged into the ground?"

Then the neighbors would get into fisticuffs over whether the proper past tense form of the word "drag" and whether it is "drug," "dragged" or "drugged."

Or else they would scratch their heads, wondering why I'm waxing rhapsodic about the respect we need to pay black ice as the summer heat barrels down upon us, or why I'm whining about how hot it is in the midst of a blizzard.

And then in those particularly cringe worthy instances where I try to mention a pending or recent movie or DVD or CD release, only to miss the mark by a month or two and have the aforementioned readers, freshly healed from their scuffle and reunited as friends, turn to one another and say, "That old thing? Has it really been 10 years since that came out?"

Sigh.

So, in the best interest of catching everything, I just want to wish everyone a happy Easter, happy Arbor Day, enjoy the Grant County Fair, happy Canada Day (observed), happy Independence Day, merry Christmas and happy Labor Day. Plus anything else I missed.