My centennial is coming … in 75 years

Divided into centuries, anything can sound ancient.

One fifth of a century ago, Millie Vanilli formed a band. A seventh of a century ago, O.J. Simpson was arrested on suspicion of murder. A tenth of a century ago, Google was incorporated.

Those things are old, but not as old as me.

I was born a whopping quarter of a century ago — Dec. 5, 1983. That’s right. One-fourth of 100 years ago, I came into being.

Yikes.

Taking a trip back in time to 1983, maybe my parents weren’t warming up the dinosaur before work. I might still be considered young, in fact.

According to www.thepeoplehistory.com:

• Microsoft Word was first released in 1983. See? Computer technology was the same in 1983 as it is today … making me young.

• The same year, Swatch introduced its first line of watches. The Swatch is still posh, right? Young.

Historyoftheinternet.com notes the word “Internet” became an official term for networks in 1983. This is close enough to say the Internet was already invented when I was born (even if it looked a little different). Young!

If all those tidbits don’t convince me of my youth, I can always think about this: Cabbage Patch Kids is celebrating its 25th anniversary.

I was born when Cabbage Patch Kids were born. Twenty-five years later, they still look like infants. What does that say about me? Young!

Perhaps it is a bit dramatic to say 25 years old is old. I can sense some readers might even be irritated with the notion. Well, cheers to you, fine sirs and madams. You make me feel like the youthful young youth I am.

Here’s to stepping into quarter-of-a-century adulthood, the mid-20s of life, where perfect youth is gone but immaturity is perfectly acceptable.

Chrystal Doucette is the Columbia Basin Herald health and education reporter. She has yet to learn how youth has its disadvantages too. For example, she noted Millie Vanilli as if the duo and their lip-synched music are worth remembering.