How does one obtain a 'favor' from somebody?

I forayed out of my normal routines to begin Christmas shopping and found myself seeking help from strangers more than normal.

There are the moments of asking sales staff if they have the sought after item in another color or different model, or if it's the one on sale. Then I find myself asking strangers if they are going to buy the last of an item, are standing in line or talking to me.

The latter being people with long hair covering their cellphone ear pieces.

Christmas shopping can be rough. Everyone is searching for the perfect gifts for their family and friends. Asking for the occasional help seems natural.

But it's not just me asking for help. I have been on the receiving end too. Most people are pretty nice and I help without a second thought. I like to. The gesture fits right in with the spirit of Christmas and life in a smaller town. Just being neighborly. It has nothing to do with karma.

I would estimate about 99 percent of my encounters with strangers seeking help are always pleasant. They ask nicely and always offer a thank you afterwards. Some are downright puzzled when I offer help before they can ask.

What rubs me the wrong way is when I run across the person who seeks a "favor" by being rude or insulting. You know the type. They are demanding, self-centered and believe the world revolves around them. They often stare at you as if you were created by your parents just to serve their petty whims without delay.

"Stop standing there, breathing. Get me the one on the very top shelf, dangerously close to the ionosphere, and do it NOW! Or are you too stupid to understand me? Do you call this service?" the impatient person offers as a request for help.

"I'm sorry. I don't work here," I respond.

"What a lame excuse! If you aren't going to endanger your life on the rickety ladder to get me what I want, I will shop somewhere else, tell all my friends how badly I was treated and call my lawyer!"

To them: Nuts.

When a person asks for a favor, they are asking for special treatment. When I favor someone, it means I hold them in a friendly regard. When they ask for help, they can ask me for a favor. I will be glad to do it. I know they will be thankful and we continue on our merry way in happiness.

But those very few who don't understand what a favor is, let me offer a couple of tips. One, don't insult a person before asking them to help you. Two, be polite. You can gain a person's favor with the latter. Being insulting will only anger them and will fail in getting the help you are looking for.

Imagine being a chef and hearing:

"I never eat here. I tell all my friends how bad the food is and don't get me started on the service! Now, could you add extra cheese to my order?"

What they should get is an invitation to view the parking lot rather then be served a meal. What they will probably get is something extra in their food that is not approved by the health department.

Now, how about trying to avoid the insults, attempt at dominance and rudeness?

"I love the dish, but could I please ask for it with cheese on it? Thanks."

I would bet on a safe and pleasant dining experience.

I still have two weeks of Christmas shopping to do and with my fingers crossed, I hope they continue to be pleasant experiences. I hope to continue my 98 percent success rate of happy requests for help. To the other two percent, I ask you a favor - please stay away from me.

Merry Christmas.