Starlet's availability means hope for Weaver?

If you believe the gossip rags, and I often take them with a whole spoonful of salt, Jessica Alba is single again.

For many people, this news means very little.

Why should the romantic life of any celebrity or "celebrity," let alone the star of such movies as "Sin City," "Good Luck Chuck" and "The Fantastic Four," make a difference in the life of any Columbia Basin resident?

We could debate about the antics of Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan until we're blue in the face.

We could go into a deep philosophical discussion about the nature of the celebrity lifestyle and media coverage which follows it.

We could ignore the entire brouhaha all together, since we have actual lives and it's really a waste of time, breath and news space to give even a moment more to any of the goings-on in Hollywood, especially since everything worth saying has already been said ad nauseam and there's no new territory in which to cover.

We could do all of this and more. It wouldn't do anything to alter the fact Miss Alba and I are destined to be together.

Recent reports have indicated Alba and her longtime boyfriend, Cash Warren, have split up. Of course, due to the fickle nature of the heart and the time delay upon which this column is written, they could be reunited, happily married and on their third child as you're reading this.

In which case I hereby rescind my dibs upon the chance to win fair Alba's heart.

It's always a sad occasion when a couple, for whatever reason, breaks up. (Please ignore the big grin upon our hero's face.)

But I certainly hope there is more to their break-up than published reports indicate, in which Warren and Alba split because of his fear of commitment.

According to the movie and television news at the Internet Movie Database, the couple broke up because she is ready for marriage and he isn't.

This kind of sounds like Warren may have broken up because he believes he might find someone better than Alba.

Now, I don't know her at all, but based upon the interviews I've seen and read, it sounds hard to imagine. Kind of like I have a hard time buying Angelina Jolie as Matt Damon's second choice as a love interest in the film "The Good Shepherd."

As far as celebrities go, Alba seems to make good choices, lifewise and careerwise. She's a siren on the silver screen, but she hasn't thrown herself in complete and utter trash. ("Sin City" was pushing it. But it worked. I bought the DVD.) Moreover, she sounds like a bright, intelligent woman with a good head on her shoulders and - gasp! - actual personality, which so often is overlooked as a necessary trait in Tinseltown.

So if Jessica Alba turns to you and says, "I'm ready to marry you," by gum, you get excited about nuptialhood in a hurry. Plus you run around and tell everyone you've ever met, plus a couple strangers.

My wish for Jessica: I hope she doesn't leap into a new tabloid-heavy romance with a fellow star right away. She should take some time for herself, get a little reminder of who Jessica is and the fact she doesn't need to be in a relationship to make her happy.

Then she needs to find someone who's going to make her life better by being in it.

And if that should happen to be a furry columnist with a soft spot for pound cake, well, then, more power to her.