'You have to be strong'

Moses Lake National Guardsman recounts time in Iraq, New Orleans

MOSES LAKE — When her husband left for Iraq, Melissa Madrishin came home and put up an American flag outside their home with their six children.

It's been a long road for Maj. David Madrishin and his family, one that actually began in March 2003, when David began hearing that the Washington Army National Guard, 81st Brigade, would possibly get called up to go to Iraq.

After several months of yo-yoing reports — they were, they weren't, they were — deployments to California began in June and David was called up in October, landing in Iraq after four months of training.

The Madrishin family has gone through several replacement flags since he went overseas in February 2004, but the first one didn't come down until David safely returned to American soil.

It was in tatters when it finally came down, Melissa says.

'Iraqis are real social'

As a senior logistics officer, David was assigned to help the Iraqis re-establish their civil defense, including helping to rebuild accommodations and offering medical training.

"We took over for the 82nd Airborne, and we had a huge car bomb that happened right there on site," he remembered. "It was huge and blew up a lot of stuff. I think that was my first understanding of what war was going to be like. Right after that, we started getting mortared every day, three, four, 15 times in one or two days. There was a period of time when you just didn't want to leave the buildings or the bunkers because they were throwing so many mortars over the fence."

The insurgents didn't aim for anything; they tried to hit whatever they could, Madrishin said. He was based 40 miles north of Baghdad on a huge military airstrip, at LSA Anaconda, in Balad, so insurgents were often trying to shoot at airplanes.

"That's a big dollar item," he said. "The gravy was to hit a couple soldiers while you were shooting at these big dollar airplanes, but that's predominately what they were shooting at."

In the first three months, insurgents hit the base's PX, or post exchange, which Madrishin called the Wal-Mart We had a blast with these guys. The only thing we had a problem with was the language barrier, but we picked up some of their language, and they picked up some of ours."

Many over the age of 35 could speak two to three languages, English being the language of European business. They listen to American and European music, and have a lot of British influence from the early 1900s, he said.

The Iraqi women were hard workers, he added, while the men were not.

"As much as they would like to believe they are a patriarchal society, they are a matriarchal society," he said. "Mom is still in charge. We had 45-year-old men with three wives, and their mother would say, 'You're not going to join the National Guard. You're getting out.' And they would come and quit, because Mom told them to quit.

"We'd say, 'Well, what about your three wives and your children?'" Madrishin remembered. "'No, my mother told me to quit.'"

'Come for a drive with us'

David and Melissa say it didn't sink in that he was going off to Iraq until she saw him off from Tacoma. She came home and put the flag up outside, and the family was very emotional for the next week, she said.

Communication was hit and miss; the family didn't hear from David for the first month.

"The phone lines were horrible," she said. "If he did get to call, we got to hear the mortar in the background, talk for a minute and then the phone lines went dead."

In Iraq, David was battling limited phone lines for a large number of people, and there's a significant time difference between Iraq and Moses Lake.

"If I called, I had to call at 6 a.m. my time, which I got hold of her at 7 p.m. this time, or I called late at night my time, that way I could talk to her in the mornings," he said. "Where I was at had no cell phone connectivity (and) very limited computer access."

In the beginning, David's family was glued to the television news, hoping to see a glimpse of him, but as the bombings began, they stopped watching.

"We just tried to make it low level, pray for Dad's safety daily and not stress about what you were hearing and reading, because you didn't know if it was actually what he was going through or not."

As Melissa and the six Madrishin children worried about David in Iraq, life continued at home as well. Oldest daughter Kourtni, 15, was beginning driver's education class. David happened to call from Iraq on the family's cell phone just as everybody was about to go along on her first drive.

"We said, 'Come for a drive with us,'" Melissa remembered with a small chuckle. "So we included him on that very first drive, and all the children, as soon as we parked in the driveway, got out and kissed the ground. They were very thankful to be home."

"I heard something to the effect that they'd rather go to Iraq and get shot at then ever ride with her again," David said dryly.

'Neighbors helping neighbors'

David returned to the states in late March 2005, where he was second in command to bring equipment back into the country through the system, ensuring that no snakes or spiders had stowed away, and preparing the equipment to return to war. That position lasted through September, when the National Guard was assigned to New Orleans, in the wake of Hurricane Rita.

There, he and other members of the 81st worked as security for the Lower Ninth Ward, the part of New Orleans that was most flooded, blocking people from entering the dangerous area and assisting various police districts in law enforcement. As the city's policies changed, the National Guard would also escort people through the area to reclaim items that they could salvage from their waterlogged homes.

About 90 percent of people were happy to see the National Guard, Madrishin said, while 10 percent could not understand why they were being held back out of their neighborhoods.

"I went to Iraq because I had to," he said. "Going to New Orleans was more of a voluntary thing, and it was because that's what we all believe the National Guard is here for … federal and state emergency. I feel good about what I did in Iraq, I don't think we did anything wrong in Iraq, but I definitely feel much better about the New Orleans experience. That was neighbors helping neighbors. I think we all felt much better about that."

But David thinks that the public is receiving a rosier-colored picture in news reports and from the Associated Press about the state of New Orleans. When he left the city in October, the area he was in still did not have power or running water, in spite of recovery efforts.

"Nobody's driving down in the Ninth Ward, probably because we've been told not to let the news media down there, but the other problem is, it's not a pretty area even before it was flooded," he said. "It's their dirty end of town, or whatever you want to call it. It's their dirty little secret part of town. They don't want the rest of the world to show all of these people that have been pushed out. I don't think they really want the people to know that this area still exists."

Asked by his wife if that is where the disgruntled New Orleans residents seen and heard on the news are primarily from, he responded in the affirmative. David said that the area is an older part of town, with many destroyed homes. Rumors are circulating that the city of New Orleans will knock those homes down.

"If you've lived there for 50 years, somebody's going to knock your home down, and you can't sell it, you can't get your money out of it, what are you going to get out of it?" he asked. "Is the city going to turn around and pay you $60,000 to knock your home down? No, the city's not going to give you a dime. They're going to say it's a hazard and knock it down."

'He still belongs here'

David left Moses Lake again Thursday after a brief visit to his home and to Camp Murray in Seattle to take care of some business. He returned to Moses Lake Oct. 30.

"For me, I think the big thing was to come home and help Melissa," he said. "We did our winterization projects, and I think it was just spending some time."

Eight-year-old Kyle, turning 9 on Sunday, turned to his mother and said, "'Holy smokes, Dad's going to miss my birthday for the third year in a row,' " David said. "So I think that was one of the efforts, was to be home for his birthday."

Melissa said that with her husband being so tall, when he lays on the floor in the living room, his children and even some of the neighbor children are prone to climb all over him.

"He's just their big jungle gym," she said. "That's probably more of a relaxation for him, and that he's still Dad, and still kind of belongs here."

Madrishin returned to New Orleans to work as a liaison between the Washington National Guard and the state of Louisiana, and said he hopes to be home by Thanksgiving.

Melissa said that the feeling around the Madrishin household is more relaxed with David in New Orleans, as opposed to being in Iraq.

"It's a heavy burden lifted," she said. "This is better. I can call him and leave a message on his cell phone, or whatever, and be a little disgruntled when I need to."

The children are still affected by their father's absence, and his comings and goings, she said, but it's definitely better "to know that he's on American soil."

David said whether the Thanksgiving return will become permanent or not depends on the need in Louisiana.

"My goal is to come home, stay at home and go back to being the standard weekend warrior," he said.

'I've learned to stand up straight'

Madrishin joined the Army National Guard in 1987. He called himself a 6-foot, 7-inch, 190-pound skinny weakling with no confidence who didn't stand up straight because he was embarrassed of his height.

"I think I was pretty withdrawn," he said. "I think I was pretty intimidated by the world."

From 1991 to 2001, Madrishin also worked for the Moses Lake Police Department. Between his experiences with the National Guard and in law enforcement, Madrishin said, he's learned to communicate and talk to people.

"I've learned to stand up straight, and I'm definitely not bashful," he said. "I'm 6-foot-9 and I'm not bashful of my size."

The law enforcement experience helped Madrishin in the National Guard, although he said that the situation in Iraq was more mission-oriented than customer service-oriented, as police work is. His work in New Orleans was similar to law enforcement, he said.

Melissa said David was glad to have the background in Iraq, which left him more prepared and feeling safer.

"Which enabled me to feel a little bit better too that I knew he knew how to take care of himself," she said.

Melissa said she found support with the Moses Lake unit's wives, and having monthly or weekly dinners with them. Some of the wives had difficulty with the situation, she said.

"You have to be strong," Melissa said. "You have to do what you have to do. You have to rely a lot on your neighbors, your church members. I relied a lot on the teachers to let me know how my kids were doing. I think you learn a lot about yourself when you're thrown into these situations, and how strong you really can be if you allow yourself to be strong."