Coming soon to a theater not near you …

Cate Blanchett and Leonardo DiCaprio are earning rave reviews for their performances in Martin Scorsese's "The Aviator."

Kind of makes me wish I could see it.

The movie selection around the Moses Lake region isn't awful, but it isn't great, either.

Some of the movies that have made my Must-See list (including "Jersey Girl," "Exorcist: The Beginning" and "SpongeBob SquarePants: The Movie") have opened or eventually wound their way into the area.

But there's just as many that haven't. Such critically acclaimed films as "Aviator," "Sideways" and "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" have yet to show, so they're either going to surprise us further down the road or I'll just have to rent them three to six months from now.

Why complain when there's so much positive to say about the rental experience — sitting at home in your underwear and pausing the action to run to the restroom chief among them — and so little negative (no ushers to clean up when you spill your giant plate of messy nachos)?

From a business angle, all that time I spend sitting at home in my underwear is time I could be spending money at my local movie theater! (In my underwear. No, no — just kidding.)

For example, when the lesser-known, hilarious "Napoleon Dynamite" played in Ephrata, I and a co-worker got so excited, we made an outing of it and ate dinner in Soap Lake before heading to the theater to watch a film we had heard so much about, right as it was timely.

Conversely, "Scrubs" actor Zach Braff's "Garden State" never hit theaters here. I had to go see it in Pullman, of all places, while visiting my brother. And so my almighty local dollars, the ones we continually hear are so important to the area's economic success, are currently bouncing around Washington State University.

Just look at the current film listing for Moses Lake and Ephrata. Go on, it's on Page Two. I'll still be here when you get back.

(Humming.)

See? Why do two theaters need to show "Elektra," "Racing Stripes" and "Meet the Fockers" within a 50-mile radius of each other, when the customer base could be expanded by showing three completely different movies? Where is "The Phantom of the Opera"? Where's "In Good Company"?

Just because they're not box-office boffo doesn't necessarily mean there's no audience for them, even if it's in a limited showing capacity.

I know there are rules and regulations and contractual obligations when it comes to actually showing a movie in a theater, but surely it's worth it when it comes to offering more of a selection to a rapidly expanding population?

Matthew Weaver is one of those annoying theater patrons who laughs too loudly at the less-funny bits in films. This, he insists, is a familial trait he inherited. He is also business and agriculture reporter for the Columbia Basin Herald.